Comics Tagged : white people
A Shorts Story
Bonus Panel
Strip Info
- Title
- A Shorts Story
- Date
- July 2, 2023
- Tags
- anxiety, awkward, BBQ, Bird, body positivity, bonus panel, Kevin, relatable, roast, shorts, social interactions, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Apartment – Day
-
Kevin stands in his apartment, wearing teal shorts, revealing his skinny, pale legs. His bird, standing on a nearby table, leans over in interest.
-
- Bird
- What’s with the shorts? You never wear shorts
- Kevin
- I’m going to a BBQ and it’s too hot out for pants.
- Panel 2 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- Wow. You’re wearing them in public? But people will see your bare legs!
- Kevin
- I know. But I’m sure no one will notice.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Field – Later
-
Kevin is at the BBQ. Some jerk yells to the crowd.
-
- Some Jerk
- Hey everyone! The chicken legs we ordered are here!
- Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Later
-
After the party, Kevin is back home.
-
- Bird
- Sooo… how’d it go?
- Kevin
- Never again.
-
Kevin sets his shorts on fire with a lighter.
Why I’m Not On Stranger Things
Strip Info
- Title
- Why I’m Not On Stranger Things
- Date
- July 10, 2022
- Tags
- awkward, Debbie Gibson, dumb things people do, Dustin, Kevin, Lucas, music, Netflix, pop culture, Stranger Things, TV, Vecna, white people
- Notes
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Hawkins Graveyard – Day
-
An Overhead shot of Kevin, floating several feet in mid-air. Wearing headphones, his eyes roll back in a dumbfounded expression. On the ground, Dustin and Lucas from Stranger Things freak out.
-
- Dustin
- Oh no! Kevin’s under Vecna’s curse!
- Lucas
- Quick! Play his favorite song!
- Panel 2 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous
-
Kevin is bound up by tentacles in Vecna’s Lair. Everything has a red tint. Vecna stands opposite him, poised with his claw hand. Yet they both pause to and look skyward as a song begin playing.
-
- Singer
- Shake your love! I just can’t shake your love! Shake your love! I just can’t shake… your love!
- Panel 3 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous
-
Embarrassed, Kevin blushes and grins. Vecna lowers his claw. A look of disbelief and judgement on his face.
-
- Vecna
- Debbie Gibson?
- Kevin
- Please don’t tell anyone.
A Very Specific Task
Strip Info
- Title
- A Very Specific Task
- Date
- June 19, 2022
- Tags
- beach, cauliflower, Dani, fences, gross, ham, Kevin, paint, pale, Ranch dressing, sunscreen, vacation, white people, yogurt
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Room – Day
-
Dani stands smiling, holding a bowl of ranch dressing in one hand and a full head of cauliflower in the other. She’s just dipped the cauliflower in the ranch.
-
- Caption
- Dipping a head of cauliflower in ranch dressing
- Panel 2 : Ext. Yard – Later
-
Wearing overalls, Dani stands in front of a tall white picket fence. She holds a brush of white paint. A bucket sits on a stepladder nearby. Dani shrugs.
-
- Caption
- Painting a white fence white
- Panel 3 : Int. Kitchen – Later
-
Dani stands at a kitchen table. On the table is an open container of plain yogurt. Next to it is large uncooked ham. Dani massages the yogurt into the skin of the uncooked ham. She looks disgusted.
-
- Caption
- Massaging yogurt into an uncooked ham
- Panel 4 : Ext. Beach – Later
-
Dani on the beach, equally disgusted look on her face. But now, she’s applying sunscreen to Kevin’s back.
-
- Dani
- You’re right – nothing could’ve prepared me for this.
- Kevin
- Sorry.
After You
Strip Info
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Kevin sits on his couch. His bird perched on his hand.
-
- Kevin
- Have you ever eaten a worm?
- Bird
- No. I’m an indoor bird.
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
The bird hops to Kevin’s shoulder.
-
- Bird
- Have you?
- Kevin
- Nope.
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin continues.
-
- Kevin
- D-do you want to?
- Bird
- Do you?
- Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin shrugs.
-
- Kevin
- I mean…
- Bird
- …Cuz it sounds like you do.
- Panel 4 : Int. Home – Moments Later
-
Kevin and the bird face off on opposite sides of a plate with an earthworm on it. Kevin raises his eyebrows.
-
- Bird
(skeptical) - O.K. What’s… what’s going on here?
- Bird
The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 1
Strip Info
- Title
- The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 1
- Date
- August 22, 2021
- Tags
- blacksmith, castle, climate change, dumb things people do, forest fires, King, politics, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Castle – Day
-
The Tale of Climate Policy
-
A medieval King stands on the wall of his castle, looking over the nearby village. An aide stands next to him, gesturing at the burning forest beyond.
-
- Aide
- Your Highness, the forest beyond the village is aflame again!
- King
- Hmmm. What seems to be the cause?
- Panel 2 : Ext. Castle – Continuous
-
The King listens, stroking his beard and pondering.
-
- Aide
- We believe it to be the sparks from the Blacksmith’s shop.
- King
- Then I shall speak to the Blacksmith!
- Panel 3 : Int. Blacksmith’s Shop – Later
-
The King stands opposite the Blacksmith in his shop. The Blacksmith is twice the size of the King and twice as mean-looking. A nearby kiln showers sparks everywhere.
-
- King
- Fair Blacksmith! Could you please produce less sparks from your shop?
- Blacksmith
- No.
- Panel 4 : Ext. Castle – Later
-
The King stands atop his castle wall, addressing the villagers below. Behind him, a great plume of smoke and embers rises.
-
- King
- I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN TO STOP THE FOREST FIRES!
The Kingdom That Almost Won
Strip Info
- Title
- The Kingdom That Almost Won
- Date
- August 1, 2021
- Tags
- bedtime story, COVID, dragon, dumb things people do, knight, medieval, misinformation, pandemic, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
- Notes
-
This comic went crazy viral (go figure). Here’s my Twitter thread examining the spread.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Kingdumb – Day
-
A medieval knight points at a giant dragon lying on its back in a destroyed village. The knight beckons to nearby villagers.
-
- Knight
- Look! The dragon is almost slain! Let us arm ourselves and end its reign of terror!
- Panel 2 : Ext. Kingdumb – Continuous
-
The nearby villagers look at their armor with skepticism.
-
- Villager 1
- Wait- What’s this armor made of?
- Villager 2
- The court jester says it makes you magnetic…
-
A third villager wears a helmet with visor hanging under his chin.
-
- Villager 3
- I can’t breathe in this helmet!
- Panel 3 : Ext. Kingdumb – Continuous
-
The knight looks on in despair as the villagers continue.
-
- Villager 1
- Don’t push your pro-armor agenda on us!
- Villager 2
- The dragon hasn’t eaten anyone -I- know.
- Villager 3
- We should let the dragon eat us until it gets full.
-
Meanwhile, the dragon looms over the knight.
- Panel 4 : Int. Bedroom – Night
-
In a modern-day child’s bedroom, a little boy in bed furrows his brow.
-
- Little Boy
- I don’t like this story. The people are dumb.
-
Sitting at the foot of his bed, his mother hunches over a storybook, head in hands.
-
- Mom
- -Sigh- I know.
It’s Not A Competition (Alt)
Strip Info
- Title
- It’s Not A Competition (Alt)
- Date
- April 11, 2021
- Tags
- COVID, douchebags, fomo, humblebrag, large axes, mental health, metalworking, moms, pandemic, white people
- Notes
-
This is an alternate version of another comic I made. I made this version to see which one shared better on social media: dudes or Moms. Moms won. Moms always win.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
CLOSE on Some D-Bag bragging.
-
- Some D-Bag
- …Well, I finished writing my novel, got in shape, and learned French…
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
WIDER to reveal she’s talking to a frazzled Mom with a little kid and a baby.
-
- Some D-Bag
- …What did you get done during COVID?
- Mom
(deadpan) - I took care of my kids.
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
The D-Bag shrugs.
-
- Some D-Bag
- …That’s all?
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
The D-Bag’s eyes go wide as Mom reaches off-panel for a large, ornate axe.
It’s Not A Competition
Strip Info
- Title
- It’s Not A Competition
- Date
- April 11, 2021
- Tags
- COVID, douchebags, fomo, humblebrag, Kevin, large axes, metalworking, pandemic, white people
- Notes
-
I made an alternate version of this comic for all the hard working moms out there.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
CLOSE on Some D-Bag bragging.
-
- Some D-Bag
- …Well, I finished writing my novel, got in shape, and learned French…
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
WIDER to reveal he’s talking to Kevin.
-
- Some D-Bag
- …What did you get done during COVID?
- Kevin
(deadpan) - I took up metalworking.
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
The D-Bag shrugs.
-
- Some D-Bag
- …That’s all?
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
The D-Bag’s eyes go wide as Kevin reaches off-panel for a large, ornate axe.
How To Motivate Your Co-Workers
Strip Info
- Title
- How To Motivate Your Co-Workers
- Date
- March 21, 2021
- Tags
- aphorisms, boss, capitalism, cubicle culture, Kevin, motivation, office, The Old Switcheroo, white people, work
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Office – Day
-
Kevin stands next to a Bossman in front of a group of office workers.
-
- Bossman
- Remember: Failure is not an option.
- Kevin
- Yes, but failure is the best teacher.
- Panel 2 : Int. Office – Continuous
-
The Bossman looks over as Kevin continues.
-
- Kevin
- So if you want to succeed at learning, consider failing.
- Panel 3 : Int. Office – Continuous
-
The Bossman whispers to Kevin.
-
- Bossman
- What are you doing? We’re supposed to motivate them.
- Kevin
- I am!
- Panel 4 : Int. Office – Continuous
-
Something dawns on the Bossman
-
- Bossman
- Wait- do you even work here?
- Kevin
(arms up) - Naps for everyone!
How to Beat The Queen’s Gambit
Strip Info
- Title
- How to Beat The Queen’s Gambit
- Date
- February 28, 2021
- Tags
- Anya Taylor Joy, celebrities, chess, Kevin, pop culture, Queens Gambit, TV, white people
- Notes
-
This comic made Chess Reddit very mad. Apparently I didn’t draw the chess board correctly and her opening move in the first panel is bullshit. There were even folks who couldn’t get over the fact that I only have four fingers here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Chess Tournament Hall – Day
-
CLOSE up on Beth Harmon’s hand at a chess tournament as she advances her first piece, a pawn, someplace that got Chess Reddit very mad at me.
- Panel 2 : Int. Chess Tournament Hall – Continuous
-
CLOSE on a confused Beth’s face as her opponent extends his hand in surrender.
- Panel 3 : Int. Chess Tournament Hall – Continuous
-
WIDER to reveal Kevin is her opponent.
-
- Beth Harmon
- That was my first move.
- Kevin
- I don’t know how to play chess.
Tote Bags
Strip Info
- Title
- Tote Bags
- Date
- August 14, 2020
- Tags
- Bird, capitalism, controversy, environmentalism, ethcial consumption, Kevin, liberalism, NPR, tote bags, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Kevin holds a reusable tote bag filled with groceries. A logo printed on the bag reads “NPR.” A green ring-necked parrot sits on a perch behind him.
-
- Bird
- Wait, Kevin- haven’t you heard? Tote bags are bad for the environment.
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
The parrot is now on Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin looks incredulous.
-
- Kevin
- What? How?
- Bird
- Reusable cotton totes take more energy to create than plastic bags.
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin looks down at his tote bag as the parrot continues.
-
- Bird
- Each new tote has to be reused 20,000 times to break even.
- Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin raises his eyebrows.
-
- Kevin
- But… how will people know I support NPR?
- Panel 5 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
The parrot leans in.
-
- Bird
- Kevin, you’re a white, middle-aged liberal… we know.
-
Kevin deadpans to camera.
Opening Up
Strip Info
- Title
- Opening Up
- Date
- July 16, 2020
- Tags
- Becky, castle, controversy, COVID, crowd, dumb things people do, emergency, King, life or death situation, lockdown, Murder Fog, politics, quarantine, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
- Notes
-
This is probably my most political comic to date. It blew up on Reddit. I think it even made it to the front page. People used the comments as a place to debate COVID-19 lockdown re-opening. The debate got so heated that the moderators of r/funny actually took it down.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Castle Courtyard – Day
-
A King addresses a crowd of his subjects from the top of a high wall.
-
- King
- My loyal subjects.. I’ve decided to reopen the castle!
- Panel 2 : Int. Castle Courtyard – Continuous
-
From the crowd below, a lowly subject speaks up. Behind him is the main gate of the castle. On the other side of that, a green fog can be seen lingering right over the wall.
-
- Subject
- But Your Majesty! The Murder Fog is right outside the gates! We’ll be killed!
- Panel 3 : Int. Castle Courtyard – Time
-
The king motions to a group of three younger people to his left. They look insufferable. Like mideval hipsters.
-
- King
- I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I have no choice… Beck and her friends MUST BRUNCH!