Comics Tagged : Kevin
Tote Bags
Strip Info
- Title
- Tote Bags
- Date
- August 14, 2020
- Tags
- Bird, capitalism, controversy, environmentalism, ethcial consumption, Kevin, liberalism, NPR, tote bags, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Kevin holds a reusable tote bag filled with groceries. A logo printed on the bag reads “NPR.” A green ring-necked parrot sits on a perch behind him.
-
- Bird
- Wait, Kevin- haven’t you heard? Tote bags are bad for the environment.
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
The parrot is now on Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin looks incredulous.
-
- Kevin
- What? How?
- Bird
- Reusable cotton totes take more energy to create than plastic bags.
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin looks down at his tote bag as the parrot continues.
-
- Bird
- Each new tote has to be reused 20,000 times to break even.
- Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin raises his eyebrows.
-
- Kevin
- But… how will people know I support NPR?
- Panel 5 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
The parrot leans in.
-
- Bird
- Kevin, you’re a white, middle-aged liberal… we know.
-
Kevin deadpans to camera.
Welcome Back
Strip Info
- Title
- Welcome Back
- Date
- June 22, 2020
- Tags
- anti-social, anxiety, Bird, Kevin, parrot, self own, social media
- Notes
-
This was the first comic I made in over three months after the COVID-19 lockdown started. Inspiration was hard to come by during those first few months. This is not the greatest joke in the world, but I’m glad I got something out there.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
A green ring-necked parrot sits on a perch, talking to Kevin.
-
- Bird
- Hey, Kevin! Where y’been?
- Kevin
- Been off social media lately.
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Kevin shrugs at the parrot.
-
- Kevin
- With everything going on in the world right now… is it o.k. to be funny?
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
The parrot responds.
-
- Bird
- Well luckily, you don’t have to worry about being funny.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
The parrot leans in.
-
- Bird
- Take all the time off you want, champ!
-
Kevin deadpans to camera.
The 2 Types of Self-Quarantine
Strip Info
- Title
- The 2 Types of Self-Quarantine
- Date
- March 15, 2020
- Tags
- anti-social, anxiety, couch, COVID, hazmat suit, Kevin, pandemic, quarantine, single panel, two types of people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Evening
-
Kevin slumps on the couch, playing a video game. His eyes sleepy. His hair disheveled. He hasn’t shaved. Empty delivery container, dirty laundry, and trash are strewn everywhere. He’s wearing sweatpants and only one sock – that has a hole in it.
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Alternate Timeline
-
Kevin sits perfectly erect on the same couch in a bright orange hazmat suit. His living room is sparkling clean. His face is frozen in a wide, toothy smile of anxiety. Sweat beads on his brow. On the endtable sits a single glass of red wine. He’ll never drink it.
If I Judged Dog Shows
Bonus Panel
Strip Info
- Title
- If I Judged Dog Shows
- Date
- January 30, 2020
- Tags
- big trophy, bonus panel, corgis, dog shows, dogs, Kevin, mutts, old man tied up in a broom closet, puppies, terriers, TV, westminster, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Dog Show Arena – Night
-
Dressed in a sharp blue suit and purple bowtie, Kevin paces back and forth in front of lineup of cute doggos.
-
- Kevin (v serious)
- Bring out the corgi, please.
- Panel 2 : Int. Dog Show Arena – Continuous
-
Kevin continues to pace, but in the opposite direction.
-
- Kevin (v serious)
- ..And the French Bulldog, please.
- Panel 3 : Int. Dog Show Arena – Continuous
-
Kevin stops in front of the entire line of remaining doggos.
-
- Kevin (v serious)
- …And all the rest, please.
- Panel 4 : Int. Dog Show Arena – Moments Later
-
Kevin lays on the ground, swarmed by cute, eager puppers. Standing over him are two old, dour-faced judges holding trophies waiting to be awarded.
-
- Kevin (v serious)
- I’m going to need more time, please.
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part III
Strip Info
- Title
- Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part III
- Date
- January 22, 2020
- Tags
- Craigslist, Craigslist Guy, dumb things people do, Kevin, lamp, social interactions
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin sits at a little table. On the table, there’s a little red lamp. A tag hangs off that says “$5.” A sign next to it says “Lamp $5 / Still works! / Red shade / 18″ Tall”. Craigslist Guy stands very far away.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Hey! Is your lamp still available?
- Kevin
- Yup! It’s free!
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy is happy.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Great! I’ll take it!
- Kevin
- Great!
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy doesn’t move.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Finally, Craigslist Guy breaks the silence.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Can you bring it to me?
-
Kevin deadpans to camera.
If I Was On “Hot Ones”
Strip Info
- Title
- If I Was On “Hot Ones”
- Date
- January 8, 2020
- Tags
- dumb things people do, food, funny faces, Hot Ones, Kevin, life or death situation, pop culture, Sean Evans, white people, YouTube
- Notes
-
Sean Evans liked this on Instagram.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Day
-
Close up on Kevin sitting at the Hot Ones table. His eyes pop out and his mouth pickers.
- Panel 2 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous
-
Still close up. Kevin opens his mouth. Fire bursts out. His eyes pour water.
- Panel 3 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous
-
Still close up. Kevin hunches over. Crying in pain. Tears streaming from his face.
- Panel 4 : Int. Hot Ones Set – Continuous
-
Now wider. We see Sean Evens sitting across from Kevin. A confused look on his face.
-
- Sean Evans
- Um… We haven’t started yet.
- Kevin
- I’m out!
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part II
Strip Info
- Title
- Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part II
- Date
- September 4, 2019
- Tags
- Craigslist Guy, dumb things people do, Kevin, lamp, social interactions
- Notes
-
This comic blew the hell up on Reddit. Probably because it gave folks the chance to share their own Craigslist horror stories. Best part is, everyone thinks they’re smarter than the average Craigslist user. But they -are- the average Craigslist user. So figure that out.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin sits at a little table. On the table, there’s a little red lamp. A tag hangs off that says “$5.” A sign next to it says “Lamp $5 / Still works! / Red shade / 18″ Tall”. Craigslist Guy walks up.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Hey does your lamp still work?
- Kevin (points to post)
- Yup! All the info is in the post right here.
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy doesn’t get it.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- What color is it?
- Kevin (points to post)
- All the info is in the post right here.
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
No reaction from Craigslist Guy.
-
- Kevin
- …So just read the post right in front of you.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy still doesn’t get it.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- How much?
-
Kevin deadpans to camera.
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part I
Strip Info
- Title
- Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part I
- Date
- August 14, 2019
- Tags
- commerce, Craigslist Guy, dumb things people do, Kevin, social interactions, social media
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin sits at a little table. On the table, there’s a little red lamp. A tag hangs off that says “$5.” Craigslist Guy walks up.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Hey is your lamp still available?
- Kevin
- Yup! Just $5!
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Without a word, Craigslist Guy starts to literally fade away.
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Going. Going…
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Gone. Craigslist Guy has disappeared. Leaving Kevin alone, deadpanning to camera.
Advice From The Future
Strip Info
- Title
- Advice From The Future
- Date
- July 9, 2019
- Tags
- cell phone, dumb things people do, Future Kevin, Instagram, Kevin, smart phone, social media, time travel, white people
- Notes
-
Easter Egg: I actually made an Instagram account for Future Kevin. That’s how far I’ll go for a bit.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Room – Day
-
Present Kevin looks at his phone.
-
- Present Kevin
- Oh look – a new social network.
-
He starts to type a username: “fartybut..”
-
- Present Kevin
- Heheh.
- Panel 2 : Int. Room – Continuous
-
A time portal opens and out steps Future Kevin. Future Kevin looks just like Present Kevin, except he has greying hair, a pudgy belly, and a beard.
-
- Future Kevin
- Stop!
- Panel 3 : Int. Room – Continuous
-
Present Kevin is taken aback.
-
- Present Kevin
- Who are you?
- Future Kevin
- I’m you from the future!
- Panel 4 : Int. Room – Continuous
-
Present Kevin looks incredulous.
-
- Present Kevin
- I grow a beard in the future?
- Future Kevin
- Yeah.
- Present Kevin
- Weird.
- Panel 5 : Int. Room – Continuous
-
Future Kevin ignores him.
-
- Future Kevin
- Listen! Someday you’ll want to use that account for professional stuff.
- Panel 6 : Int. Room – Continuous
-
Present Kevin looks down at his phone as Future Kevin continues.
-
- Future Kevin
- People won’t take you seriously with a dumb username. So don’t do it!
- Panel 7 : Int. Room – Continuous
-
Present Kevin smiles as Future Kevin steps back into the time portal.
-
- Present Kevin
- OK I won’t. Thanks!
- Future Kevin
- Thank you!
- Panel 8 : Int. Room – In The Future
-
Future Kevin looks down at his phone. His username is now “dumbbeard69.”
Sheet Cake Rules Everything Around Me
Strip Info
- Title
- Sheet Cake Rules Everything Around Me
- Date
- March 16, 2019
- Tags
- baking, competition, correct opinions, fancy cakes, food, Kevin, Sarah, sheetcake, smoking
- Notes
-
When I first posted this comic, I got some comments misinterpreting it as being about white male privilege. I can see how one might read that into it, so I redrew it with Sarah. Same joke – just hopefully a little more clear.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Auxiliary Hall – Day
-
Two Judges look over Chef Alexis’ cake. One of them has a clipboard. Alexis stands alongside it with a smile.
-
- Judge #1
- …And what have we here?
- Chef Alexis
- This is a peanut butter banana cake with whipped ganache.
- Panel 2 : Int. Auxiliary Hall – Moments Later
-
Two Judges look over Chef Rie’s cake. Rie stands alongside it with a smile.
-
- Judge #1
- …And this?
- Chef Rie
- A chocolate hazelnut cake with salted caramel sauce.
- Panel 3 : Int. Auxiliary Hall – Moments Later
-
Two Judges look over Kevin’s cake. He stands nearby, arms crossed, smoking.
-
- Kevin
- This is a yellow sheet cake I bought at the grocery store.
- Panel 4 : Int. Auxiliary Hall – Later
-
Kevin stands on the winner’s pedestal at the #1 spot. A large trophy at his feet. Still smoking, he holds his arms out as if to say, “What do you want from me?” Alexis sits at second place, upset. Rie sits at third place, sad.
My Most Valuable Skill
Strip Info
- Title
- My Most Valuable Skill
- Date
- February 20, 2019
- Tags
- job interview, Kevin, microwave, power move, salmon, social interactions
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Office – Day
-
Kevin sits across a desk from a middle-manager who is looking at Kevin’s resume while clicking a pen. A cup on the table tells us this is Brad.
-
- Brad
- So. What would you say is your most valuable skill?
- Panel 2 : Int. Office – Continuous
-
Across the desk, Kevin deadpans.
-
- Kevin
- Heating up fish in the office microwave… and pinning it on other people.
- Panel 3 : Int. Office – Continuous
-
Brad’s eyes bug out as someone cries out from the other room.
-
- Someone (OS)
- Ugh! What stinks?
Oh c’mon, Brad!
- Panel 4 : Int. Office – Continuous
-
Kevin smiles a shit-eating grin.
I’m. Dumb.
Strip Info
- Title
- I’m. Dumb.
- Date
- February 6, 2019
- Tags
- dumb things people do, Everyday Stupidity, injury, Kevin, microwave
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Kitchen – Evening
-
INSERT – A hand holds a microwave burrito box. It reads:
Microwave Instructions
1. Remove burrito from wrapper
2. Microwave on HIGH for 4-5 minutes
3. LET STAND FOR 2 MINUTES
CAUTION: CONTENTS HOT - Panel 2 : Int. Kitchen – Continuous
-
Holding said burrito box, Kevin stands in front of his microwave. It DINGS. Done.
- Panel 3 : Int. Kitchen – Continuous
-
Kevin opens the microwave door. Flames shoot up from the burrito inside.
- Panel 4 : Int. Kitchen – Continuous
-
Kevin picks up the molten burrito and is about to put it in his mouth.
-
- Kevin
- (thinking)
I’m sure it’s fine.