Comics Tagged : dumb things people do
Stop Asking
Bonus Panel
Strip Info
- Title
- Stop Asking
- Date
- August 13, 2023
- Tags
- awkward, beer, bonus panel, creativity, cups, dumb things people do, frat guy, Kevin, party, social interactions
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Party – Day
-
At a party, a drunk frat guy walks up to Kevin.
-
- Frat Guy
- Hey! Cartoon Boy! Put me in one of your comics!
- Kevin
- Sorry, but no…
- Panel 2 : Int. Party – Continuous
-
The frat guy presses.
-
- Frat Guy
- C’mon! I bet I’m funnier than your dumb characters.
- Kevin
- Oh, I’m sure you are.
- Panel 3 : Int. Party – Continuous
-
Fed up, Kevin explains.
-
- Kevin
- Look, no offense, but stop asking cartoonists to be in their comics. It’s just not going to happen, okay?
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Zoom out to Kevin, sitting at his desk, drawing the comic we’ve just been reading. He lifts his pen from his monitor.
-
- Kevin (realizing)
- Wait. (beat) Shit.
Catching Up
Bonus Panel
Strip Info
- Title
- Catching Up
- Date
- July 30, 2023
- Tags
- beach, Bird, bonus panel, dumb things people do, Kevin, self care, social media, Twitter, vacation
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Apartment – Day
-
Kevin, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and carrying luggage, stands in the doorway of his house. His bird greets him with raised wings.
-
- Bird
- Hey hey! Welcome back from vacation!
- Kevin
- Thanks! What did I miss?
- Panel 2 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
Kevin’s bird ponders.
-
- Bird
- Let’s see… He renamed it “X”, but he doesn’t own the trademark. So there probably a bunch of lawsuits coming. Also: he limited the number of tweets you can read without paying.
- Panel 3 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
Kevin’s smile fades. His face ages as he listens to his bird go on.
-
- Bird
- Oh! And he started paying people to post, but you have to subscribe first – which kinda sounds like a pyramid scheme?
- Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
Kevin turns around and walks away, dragging his luggage with him. His bird calls after him.
-
- Bird
- …and did I mention he wants us to use it as a banking app? BECAUSE HE WANTS US TO USE IT AS A BANKING APP!
- Bonus Panel 1 : Ext. Beach – Later
-
Now at the beach at sunset, Kevin drags his luggage behind him as he walks into the ocean.
- Bonus Panel 2 : Ext. Beach – Later
-
Kevin is gone under the water. All that’s left are his footsteps and the drag marks of his luggage.
The Future of Entertainment
Strip Info
- Title
- The Future of Entertainment
- Date
- June 18, 2023
- Tags
- AI art, artificial intelligence, capitalism, dumb things people do, gadgets, movies, pop culture, technology, TV, virtual reality
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. VR Headset – Day
-
From a user’s POV inside a VR headset, a cute robot character floats into view.
-
- Genie
- Hi! I’m Genie, your A.I.-powered entertainment bot! What do you want to watch today?
- User (O.S.)
- I wanna watch a movie where Spider-Man fights Batman at Wrestlemania!
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
The user sits in his recliner, a beer in his hand
-
- Genie (O.S.)
- Sorry. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
- User
- Why not? I thought A.I. can create whatever I want.
- Panel 3 : Int. VR Headset – Continuous
-
In the headset, Genie explains.
-
- Genie
- Well, see… Spider-Man is owned by Disney, Batman is owned by Warner Bros, and Wrestlemania is WWE. To combine them legally, I would need a licensing agreement between all three companies that allows for… (trailing off)
- Panel 4 : Ext. Street – Later
-
Later, on the side of the road, two sanitation workers empty trash cans into a garbage truck. One worker holds up something he fished out of a can.
-
- Sanitation Worker
- Hey look! Another pair a’them expensive goggles!
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part IV
Strip Info
- Title
- Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part IV
- Date
- March 19, 2023
- Tags
- awkward, capitalism, Craigslist, Craigslist Guy, dumb things people do, Kevin, lamp, social interactions, table
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin sits at a little table. On the table sits a small lamp with a red shade and a sign that reads “Lamp: $5. Still works! Red shade. 18″ tall.” Craigslist Guy steps up to the table.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Hey. I’ll buy your lamp.
- Kevin
- Great! Can you take it today?
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy answers.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Well, see… I’ll have to borrow my mom’s-“
- Kevin (interrupting)
- Oh no no! No need to tell me your life story…
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Wider to reveal several people standing behind Craigslist Guy.
-
- Kevin
- Other folks are interested too. So just tell me if you can take it today.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy launches into a big block of backstory.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Well, see… I’ll have to borrow my Mom’s car because I don’t want to carry it home on the bus because the bus driver is a jerk who wouldn’t let me bring my lunch on the bus because one time I spilled but it wasn’t even my fault because he went around a corner too fast so my soup spilled out of my thermos which I guess I should have closed tighter but hey…
-
Kevin deadpans to the camera.
The Bank Loan (Part 3)
Strip Info
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Bank Office – Day
-
The bank Branch Manager sits behind his desk opposite Kevin and his bird, looking over a handfull of papers.
-
- Branch Manager
- Sir, this business plan was clearly written by your pet bird, and we don’t give bank loans to birds.
- Panel 2 : Bank Office – Continuous
-
Dressed in a large, green bird outfit, Kevin scoffs. Dressed in a collar and tie, his bird perches next to him.
-
- Kevin
- That’s preposterious! Are you suggesting I’m not the one who came up with the idea for…
- Panel 3 : Int. Bank Office – Continuous
-
Kevin picks up one of the loan application papers in front of him and reads it briefly.
- Panel 4 : Bank Office – Continuous
-
Kevin returns to his hauty posture.
-
- Kevin
- …”Pluckr: The Dating App for Birds?”
- Panel 5 : Int. Car – Later
-
Kevin drives home from the bank. On his shoulder, his bird throws up his wings in disgust.
-
- Bird
- It’s a billion dollar idea!
- Kevin
- Obviously. They have no vision.
The Bank Loan (Part 2)
Strip Info
- Title
- The Bank Loan (Part 2)
- Date
- November 13, 2022
- Tags
- bank loan, bank manager, Bird, business, costume, dumb things people do, Kevin, office, scheme, The Box
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Car – Day
-
Kevin drives his car to the bank. On his arm sits his bird, dressed in a little collar and tie.
-
- Bird
- Listen, I need you to pretend to be me in this bank interview.
- Kevin
- What? Why?
- Panel 2 : Int. Car – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- Because banks don’t give business loans to birds.
- Kevin
- Well, not with that attitude.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Car – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- C’mon, be serious. Can you pretend to be me or not?
- Kevin
- Yeah yeah yeah. No problem.
- Panel 4 : Int. Bank Office – Later
-
Kevin sits in a chair opposite the branch manager, who looks over the loan application. Kevin is wearing a giant parrot costume, grinning like an idiot. On his shoulder, his bird facepalms.
All That Flapping
Strip Info
- Title
- All That Flapping
- Date
- August 14, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, dumb things people do, flying, Kevin, life or death situation, outside, rooftop
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Day
-
Close up on Kevin, wearing a bike helmet. His parrot sits on his shoulder.
-
- Kevin
- What’s flying like?
- Bird
- Honestly? Overrated.
- Panel 2 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- Sure, it’s fun to soar above the trees. But it’s also exhausting. All that flapping.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Continuous
-
Wider to reveal Kevin is standing on the roof of his house, looking over the edge. A pillow lashed to his chest and a bedsheet fastened to his arms as makeshift wings.
-
- Kevin
- Huh. So should I rethink this?
- Char
- Nah. You’re gonna love it.
Why I’m Not On Stranger Things
Strip Info
- Title
- Why I’m Not On Stranger Things
- Date
- July 10, 2022
- Tags
- awkward, Debbie Gibson, dumb things people do, Dustin, Kevin, Lucas, music, Netflix, pop culture, Stranger Things, TV, Vecna, white people
- Notes
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Hawkins Graveyard – Day
-
An Overhead shot of Kevin, floating several feet in mid-air. Wearing headphones, his eyes roll back in a dumbfounded expression. On the ground, Dustin and Lucas from Stranger Things freak out.
-
- Dustin
- Oh no! Kevin’s under Vecna’s curse!
- Lucas
- Quick! Play his favorite song!
- Panel 2 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous
-
Kevin is bound up by tentacles in Vecna’s Lair. Everything has a red tint. Vecna stands opposite him, poised with his claw hand. Yet they both pause to and look skyward as a song begin playing.
-
- Singer
- Shake your love! I just can’t shake your love! Shake your love! I just can’t shake… your love!
- Panel 3 : Int. Vecna’s Lair – Continuous
-
Embarrassed, Kevin blushes and grins. Vecna lowers his claw. A look of disbelief and judgement on his face.
-
- Vecna
- Debbie Gibson?
- Kevin
- Please don’t tell anyone.
The Procrastination Game
Strip Info
- Title
- The Procrastination Game
- Date
- May 8, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, couch, creativity, dumb things people do, Kevin, mental health, productivity, relatable, self care, videogames
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day
-
Kevin sits on his couch, controller in hand, playing a video game. His bird sits next to him.
-
- Kevin
- Ugh. This game sucks.
- Bird
- Then why not play a game you like?
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin replies.
-
- Kevin
- Because if I play a game I like, I’ll get absorbed and won’t do the other things I have to do today.
- Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continous
-
The bird ponders.
-
- Bird
- So why not do those other things first, then play a game you like?
- Kevin
- Because playing games is how I procrastinate.
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continous
-
The bird looks concerned.
-
- Bird
- Wow, you’re all messed up, huh?
- Kevin
- My therapist calls me his “goldmine.”
What’s In Your Wallet?
Strip Info
- Title
- What’s In Your Wallet?
- Date
- April 3, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, Bitcoin, crypto, dumb things people do, Kevin, Metaverse, orc warrior, scams, social interactions, virtual reality
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day
-
Kevin and his orc guide walk through a Metaverse landscape.
-
- Kevin
- So how do I get a sweet metaverse avatar like yours?
- Orc
- You have to pay for it.
- Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
Still walking.
-
- Kevin
- With real money?
- Orc
- With crypto!
- Kevin
- So… not real money?
- Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc stops. Kevin stands behind him
-
- Orc
- Kinda. It’a a digital curency. Here: let’s set up a wallet for you.
-
The orc reaches towards a glowing Bitcoin wallet icon.
- Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
In the real world, Kevin stands in his living room, looking confused in a VR headset. His bird perches on his arm.
-
- Bird
- How’s it going in there?
- Kevin
- I think I’m about to get swindled.
Welcome to The Metaverse!
Strip Info
- Title
- Welcome to The Metaverse!
- Date
- March 27, 2022
- Tags
- dumb things people do, Facebook, Kevin, Metaverse, orc warrior, salmon shirts, social interactions, social media, technology
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day
-
Kevin stands in a digital void next to a giant orc.
-
- Orc
- Welcome to The Metaverse! Here, you can be anyone you want!
- Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc continues.
-
- Orc
- Look at me! I’m an accountant irl. But here, I’m an orc warrior! No judgement!
- Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc continues.
-
- Orc
- Go ahead! Be who you’ve always wanted to be!
-
Kevin closes his eyes and starts to glow.
- Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
Kevin’s shirt changes from black to light pink. “Plip!” He smiles.
- Panel 5 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc looks on, skeptically.
-
- Orc
- Yeeeah… Salmon’s not your color.
-
Kevin deflates.
The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 1
Strip Info
- Title
- The Tale of Climate Policy – Part 1
- Date
- August 22, 2021
- Tags
- blacksmith, castle, climate change, dumb things people do, forest fires, King, politics, The Kingdumb, villagers, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Castle – Day
-
The Tale of Climate Policy
-
A medieval King stands on the wall of his castle, looking over the nearby village. An aide stands next to him, gesturing at the burning forest beyond.
-
- Aide
- Your Highness, the forest beyond the village is aflame again!
- King
- Hmmm. What seems to be the cause?
- Panel 2 : Ext. Castle – Continuous
-
The King listens, stroking his beard and pondering.
-
- Aide
- We believe it to be the sparks from the Blacksmith’s shop.
- King
- Then I shall speak to the Blacksmith!
- Panel 3 : Int. Blacksmith’s Shop – Later
-
The King stands opposite the Blacksmith in his shop. The Blacksmith is twice the size of the King and twice as mean-looking. A nearby kiln showers sparks everywhere.
-
- King
- Fair Blacksmith! Could you please produce less sparks from your shop?
- Blacksmith
- No.
- Panel 4 : Ext. Castle – Later
-
The King stands atop his castle wall, addressing the villagers below. Behind him, a great plume of smoke and embers rises.
-
- King
- I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN TO STOP THE FOREST FIRES!