Comics Tagged : Bird
The Bank Loan (Part 2)
Strip Info
- Title
- The Bank Loan (Part 2)
- Date
- November 13, 2022
- Tags
- bank loan, bank manager, Bird, business, costume, dumb things people do, Kevin, office, scheme, The Box
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Car – Day
-
Kevin drives his car to the bank. On his arm sits his bird, dressed in a little collar and tie.
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- Bird
- Listen, I need you to pretend to be me in this bank interview.
- Kevin
- What? Why?
- Panel 2 : Int. Car – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
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- Bird
- Because banks don’t give business loans to birds.
- Kevin
- Well, not with that attitude.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Car – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- C’mon, be serious. Can you pretend to be me or not?
- Kevin
- Yeah yeah yeah. No problem.
- Panel 4 : Int. Bank Office – Later
-
Kevin sits in a chair opposite the branch manager, who looks over the loan application. Kevin is wearing a giant parrot costume, grinning like an idiot. On his shoulder, his bird facepalms.
The Bank Loan (Part 1)
Strip Info
- Title
- The Bank Loan (Part 1)
- Date
- November 6, 2022
- Tags
- bank loan, Bird, business, capitalism, Kevin, puns, seed money, wholesome
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s Office – Day
-
Kevin sits at his desk, drawing. His bird, wearing a little collar and tie, walks up behind him.
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- Bird
- I need a ride to the bank.
- Kevin
- Why?
- Bird
- Because I can’t drive.
- Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s Office – Continuous
-
Kevin looks confused.
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- Kevin
- No- why do you need to go to the bank?
- Bird
- Because I have an interview for a business loan.
- Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s Office – Continuous
-
Same.
-
- Kevin
- Why do you have an interview for a business loan?
- Bird
- Because I don’t have the capital to start a business myself! Obviously!
- Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Office – Continuous
-
Kevin turns around in his chair and smirks.
-
- Kevin
- So you’re saying you need seed money?
- Bird
- Forget it. I’ll take the bus.
Probably Just The Wind
Strip Info
- Title
- Probably Just The Wind
- Date
- October 9, 2022
- Tags
- baseball bat, bed, Bird, cage, Kevin, night, scary, scary sound, self defense
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Night
-
A sleepy Kevin lifts the cover on his bird’s cage.
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- Kevin (whispering)
- Hey. Are you awake?
- Bird
- Well, I am now.
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin continues.
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- Kevin
- I heard a scary noise outside. Can you come sleep next to me?
- Bird
- No! You’re a grown man. Go to bed!
- Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
A horrible sound: “-skritch- -skritch- BLEAGGGGH” comes from off-panel. Kevin and his bird freeze in fear.
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin lies in bed, wide awake, clutching a baseball bat. On the pillow next to him lies his bird, facing the other direction.
-
- Bird
- Just don’t roll over and crush me.
All That Flapping
Strip Info
- Title
- All That Flapping
- Date
- August 14, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, dumb things people do, flying, Kevin, life or death situation, outside, rooftop
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Day
-
Close up on Kevin, wearing a bike helmet. His parrot sits on his shoulder.
-
- Kevin
- What’s flying like?
- Bird
- Honestly? Overrated.
- Panel 2 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
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- Bird
- Sure, it’s fun to soar above the trees. But it’s also exhausting. All that flapping.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Continuous
-
Wider to reveal Kevin is standing on the roof of his house, looking over the edge. A pillow lashed to his chest and a bedsheet fastened to his arms as makeshift wings.
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- Kevin
- Huh. So should I rethink this?
- Char
- Nah. You’re gonna love it.
Daily Affirmations
Strip Info
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Kevin’s House – Day
-
Kevin’s parrot smiles into his mirror.
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- Bird
- Who’s a pretty bird? Who’s a pwitty widdle birdy? You are!
- Panel 2 : Int. Kevin’s House – Continuous
-
The bird realizes Kevin is watching from the doorway behind him. Kevin snickers.
- Panel 3 : Int. Kevin’s House – Continuous
-
The bird snaps.
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- Bird
- What? Shut up! Like you don’t do it too!
- Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s House – Continuous
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The bird continues.
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- Bird
- Get outta here, pencilneck!
-
Kevin’s smirk fades.
- Panel 5 : Int. Kevin’s House – Later
-
Kevin stands in front of his bathroom mirror. Frowning and tearing up, he points to himself.
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- Kevin
- Don’t let him call you a pencilneck! Who’s a big, strong man? You are!
No “Off” Switch
Strip Info
- Title
- No “Off” Switch
- Date
- June 12, 2022
- Tags
- anxiety, beach, Bird, fomo, Kevin, mental health, productivity, relatable, self care, social media, vacation
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Beach – Day
-
Kevin sits on a beach chair on a sunny shore. Wearing an open Hawaiian shirt, he clasps his hands behind his head and smiles. His bird perches on his elbow.
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- Kevin
- Isn’t this great? A week away from social media! No F.O.M.O. No stress…
- Panel 2 : Ext. Beach – Continuous
-
Kevin and his bird sit in silence, soaking up the sun and surf.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Beach – Continous
-
Another moment of quiet.
- Panel 4 : Ext. Beach – Continous
-
Kevin’s bird turns to him.
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- Bird
- You’re thinking of ways to turn this into content, aren’t you?
- Kevin
- Yes. I’m very broken.
One More Thing To Worry About
Strip Info
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Dining Room – Day
-
Close up on Kevin’s hand, holding his phone. On the screen, a FaceTime call with his Mother. Her camera looks up her nose in a very unflattering angle.
-
- Mother
- …And have you heard about this black hole? It’s 4 million times larger than our sun! It’s going to swallow us up!
- Panel 2 : Int. Dining Room – Continuous
-
Kevin sits at a table, holding up his phone. His bird pearches on his shoulder. A bowl of fruit on the table nearby. Kevin smiles.
-
- Kevin
- Oh, Mom! I don’t think we have to worry about that for a long time.
- Mother
- If you say so…
- Panel 3 : Int. Dining Room – Continous
-
Kevin waves goodbye.
-
- Kevin
- O.K. Gotta go. Love you.
- Mother
- Love you too.
- Panel 4 : Int. Dining Room – Continous
-
Kevin and his bird panic, knocking over the bowl of fruit.
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- Bird
- What the hell are we gonna do about this black hole?!?
- Kevin
- I DUNNO, MAN! I’M FREAKIN’ OUT!
The Procrastination Game
Strip Info
- Title
- The Procrastination Game
- Date
- May 8, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, couch, creativity, dumb things people do, Kevin, mental health, productivity, relatable, self care, videogames
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day
-
Kevin sits on his couch, controller in hand, playing a video game. His bird sits next to him.
-
- Kevin
- Ugh. This game sucks.
- Bird
- Then why not play a game you like?
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin replies.
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- Kevin
- Because if I play a game I like, I’ll get absorbed and won’t do the other things I have to do today.
- Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continous
-
The bird ponders.
-
- Bird
- So why not do those other things first, then play a game you like?
- Kevin
- Because playing games is how I procrastinate.
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continous
-
The bird looks concerned.
-
- Bird
- Wow, you’re all messed up, huh?
- Kevin
- My therapist calls me his “goldmine.”
Zoom Out
Strip Info
- Title
- Zoom Out
- Date
- April 24, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, birdseed, existentialism, field, interdependence, Kevin, night, philosophy, starsinterdependence
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Field – Night
-
Kevin lays in a field of grass at night, looking up at the stars. His bird lies on it’s back on his chest, also looking up.
-
- Kevin
- Ever zoom out and realize how insignificant we are?
- Panel 2 : Ext. Field – Continuous
-
The bird replies.
-
- Bird
- I dunno. You’re pretty significant to me.
- Kevin
- Aww! Thanks! That’s sweet.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Field – Continuous
-
Kevin and the bird lie in quiet for a beat.
- Panel 4 : Ext. Field – Continuous
-
Same.
-
- Bird
- Don’t get me wrong: as soon as I figure out how to open bags of birdseed myself, you’re dead to me.
The Sensible Detective
Strip Info
- Title
- The Sensible Detective
- Date
- April 17, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, couch, crime, Kevin, police, pop culture, self care, Sensible Detective, TV
- Notes
-
Fun fact: this is actually a redraw of a comic I first drew over 10 years ago. The original was part of an earlier version of my comics website called Funny Comics For Cool People. I produced about a dozen comics for it, but never actually launched the site. I always liked this idea, though. So I thought I’d take another swing at it.
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Police Station – Day
-
A grizzled cop sips from a mug. Scowling.
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- Caption
- Tuesdays at 8! He’s a homicide cop with no major vices…
-
- Cop
- Got drunk once. Didn’t enjoy it.
- Panel 2 : Ext. Park – Continuous
-
The cop and wife give piggybacks to each of their two kids. Everyone smiles except the cop.
-
- Caption
- …no personal trauma…
-
- Cop
- All loved ones alive and well.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Street – Night
-
The cop kneels at a crime scene near a corpse, covered in a bloody sheet. The cop looks at his watch.
-
- Caption
- …And healthy professional boundaries. He’s The Sensible Detective.
-
- Cop
- 5p.m.- Quittin’ time.
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. They both furrow their brows.
-
- Kevin
- Well that’s no fun.
- Bird
- I prefer my protagonists damaged.
What’s In Your Wallet?
Strip Info
- Title
- What’s In Your Wallet?
- Date
- April 3, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, Bitcoin, crypto, dumb things people do, Kevin, Metaverse, orc warrior, scams, social interactions, virtual reality
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day
-
Kevin and his orc guide walk through a Metaverse landscape.
-
- Kevin
- So how do I get a sweet metaverse avatar like yours?
- Orc
- You have to pay for it.
- Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
Still walking.
-
- Kevin
- With real money?
- Orc
- With crypto!
- Kevin
- So… not real money?
- Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc stops. Kevin stands behind him
-
- Orc
- Kinda. It’a a digital curency. Here: let’s set up a wallet for you.
-
The orc reaches towards a glowing Bitcoin wallet icon.
- Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
In the real world, Kevin stands in his living room, looking confused in a VR headset. His bird perches on his arm.
-
- Bird
- How’s it going in there?
- Kevin
- I think I’m about to get swindled.
Kustody Kitchen!
Strip Info
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. TV Studio – Day
-
Two parents stare each other down, holding up plates of pasta.
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- Caption
- Thursday at 8! Two newly-divorced parents face off to see who can make the most delicious meal…
- Panel 2 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous
-
A smiling boy, wearing a blindfold, tries the pasta as the parents look on.
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- Caption
- …for the most important judges of all… their kids!
- Panel 3 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous
-
The Mom stands smiling with her son. A winning ribbon pinned to her chest. In the background, security pulls the father away. The Dad reaches out and yells in desperation.
-
- Caption
- …and whoever loses, gives up visitation rights FOREVER! It’s Kustody Kitchen!
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. His eyes wide in shock.
-
- Kevin
- Holy shit.
- Bird
- Right? I love this show.