Welcome to The Metaverse!
Strip Info
- Title
- Welcome to The Metaverse!
- Date
- March 27, 2022
- Tags
- dumb things people do, Facebook, Kevin, Metaverse, orc warrior, salmon shirts, social interactions, social media, technology
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day
-
Kevin stands in a digital void next to a giant orc.
-
- Orc
- Welcome to The Metaverse! Here, you can be anyone you want!
- Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc continues.
-
- Orc
- Look at me! I’m an accountant irl. But here, I’m an orc warrior! No judgement!
- Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc continues.
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- Orc
- Go ahead! Be who you’ve always wanted to be!
-
Kevin closes his eyes and starts to glow.
- Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
Kevin’s shirt changes from black to light pink. “Plip!” He smiles.
- Panel 5 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous
-
The orc looks on, skeptically.
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- Orc
- Yeeeah… Salmon’s not your color.
-
Kevin deflates.
Kustody Kitchen!
Strip Info
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. TV Studio – Day
-
Two parents stare each other down, holding up plates of pasta.
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- Caption
- Thursday at 8! Two newly-divorced parents face off to see who can make the most delicious meal…
- Panel 2 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous
-
A smiling boy, wearing a blindfold, tries the pasta as the parents look on.
-
- Caption
- …for the most important judges of all… their kids!
- Panel 3 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous
-
The Mom stands smiling with her son. A winning ribbon pinned to her chest. In the background, security pulls the father away. The Dad reaches out and yells in desperation.
-
- Caption
- …and whoever loses, gives up visitation rights FOREVER! It’s Kustody Kitchen!
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin sits on the couch with his bird, watching this commercial. His eyes wide in shock.
-
- Kevin
- Holy shit.
- Bird
- Right? I love this show.
Keyboard Generals
Strip Info
- Title
- Keyboard Generals
- Date
- March 7, 2022
- Tags
- current events, Dunning Kruger, politics, President, single panel, Situation Room, social media, Twitter, war
- Notes
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. The Situation Room – Day
-
A stressed US President hunches over a large conference table in The Situation Room. Seated around the table are military generals, advisers, and policy leaders. On the table are laptops and papers with sensitive military information. The President motions to a round, bald-headed man wearing wraparound sunglasses and a Bored Ape Yacht Club t-shirt standing beside him. The guy throws up the devil horns sign.
“Gentlemen, this is a very precarious international situation, Which is why I brought in @callofdoody69 for his expert opinion.”
The Breakthrough
Strip Info
- Title
- The Breakthrough
- Date
- February 20, 2022
- Tags
- Batman, Bruce Wayne, crime, masculinity, mental health, movies, pop culture, self care, superheroes, therapy, thugs, toxic masculinity, vigilantes
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Gotham City Rooftop – Night
-
Batman holds up a thug by his collar on a Gotham rooftop.
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- Thug
- What are you?
- Panel 2 : Ext. Gotham City Rooftop – Continuous
-
Batman growls.
-
- Batman
- I’m the victim of childhood trauma processing his emotions in an unhealthy way!
- Panel 4 : Int. Therapist’s Office – Later
-
Batman, in full costume, lays scowling on the couch of his therapist. Sitting nearby, the therapist writes in his notepad with a patient smile.
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- Therapist
- Excellent, Bruce! We’re making real progress here.
Switch It Up!
Strip Info
- Title
- Switch It Up!
- Date
- February 13, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, Calvin & Hobbes, Cintiq, comic making, creativity, digital art, Garfield, homage, Kevin, meta
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Kevin sits at his desk drawing, head resting on his Cintiq. Perched on the top of the Cintiq, the bird looks on.
-
- Kevin
- -Uuugh!- My comic strip is just a rehash of Garfield. I’m a hack!
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
The bird responds.
-
- Bird
- Sure, the whole ‘Cartoonist/Pet” setup is the same, but it’s the details that make it different.
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
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The bird continues.
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- Bird
- For example, an original art style can make it more unique. Try switching it up!
- Panel 4 : Ext. Forest – Continuous
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Kevin and the bird appear drawn in the style of Bill Watterson of Calvin and Hobbes.
-
- Kevin
- Like this?
- Bird
- Perfect.
The Realization
Strip Info
- Title
- The Realization
- Date
- February 6, 2022
- Tags
- beach, Bird, comic making, creativity, existentialism, Garfield, Kevin, sunset
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Kevin sits at his desk drawing. The bird perches on his shoulder.
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- Kevin
- I’m making a comic strip about us!
- Bird
- Oh! Like Garfield?
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin pauses.
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- Kevin
- No. Garfield is a cat. You’re a bird.
- Bird
- Sure… But besides that, it’s basically Garfield.
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin scoffs.
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- Kevin
- …No it’s not.
- Bird
- Yes, it is. ‘Cartoonist and his sassy pet?’ That’s Garfield.
- Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
The bird puts a newspaper scrap with Jon Arbuckle on it next to Kevin’s drawing of himself.
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- Bird
- Look. You even draw yourself like Jon!
- Panel 5 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin eyes widen. He stares off into the distance in realization.
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- Bird
- Congrats, dummy. You’ve created Garfield.
- Panel 6 : Ext. Beach – Evening
-
Kevin stands on the beach at sunset, same hundred-yard stare on his face.
- Panel 7 : Ext. Beach – Continuous
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Wide shot of Kevin walking into the ocean.
- Panel 8 : Ext. Beach – Moments Later
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Kevin is gone. Only his footsteps in the sand remain.
Trust The Process
Strip Info
- Title
- Trust The Process
- Date
- January 24, 2022
- Tags
- Academy Awards, awards, birb, Bird, creativity, documentaries, Kevin, Meryl Streep, movies, Oscars, productivity
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Kevin sits at his desk drawing. The bird perches on a camera behind him.
-
- Bird
- What’s with the camera?
- Kevin
- I’m documenting my creative process.
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin continues.
-
- Kevin
- Y’know- in case someone wants to make a documentary about me someday.
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
The bird scoffs
-
- Bird
- -Pfft- No one will want to watch ‘Idiot Sits Alone In A Room For Hours.’
- Panel 4 : Int. Kodak Theatre – Later
-
Two presenters at the Oscars open the envelope for Best Documentary.
-
- Presenter 1
- And the Oscar goes to…
- Presenter 2
- …’Idiot Sits Alone In A Room For Hours’
- Panel 5 : Int. Kodak Theatre – Continuous
-
Kevin sits in the audience in a tux. Next to him, Meryl Streep applauds. Kevin raises an eyebrow and looks to his shoulder, where the bird crosses its arms in indignation.
The First Week of January
Strip Info
- Title
- The First Week of January
- Date
- January 9, 2022
- Tags
- creativity, holidays, judge, new years, productivity, running, starter pistol
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Race – Day
-
A runner perches on the starting line of a race. A nearby sign reads “2022 Start.” Behind the sign, a judge looks at their watch and holds a starting pistol in the air.
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- Runner
- This year will be my year!
- Panel 2 : Ext. Race – Continuous
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The judge fires the pistol: “bang!” The runner takes off smiling.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Race – Continuous
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The runner trips on uneven ground.
- Panel 4 : Ext. Race – Continuous
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The runner faceplants on the hard ground. THWAP!
- Panel 5 : Ext. Race – Continuous
-
The runner lies face down on the ground.
- Panel 6 : Ext. Race – Continuous
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Wider to reveal the runner only a few feet from the starting line.
-
- Runner
- Leave me here until next January.
Happy Thanksgiving
Strip Info
- Title
- Happy Thanksgiving
- Date
- November 25, 2021
- Tags
- Bird, food, holidays, Kevin, Thanksgiving, turkey
- Notes
-
Here’s the original version of this comic. I changed it when folks pointed out to me that pet birds eat chicken all the time. Which is technically cannibalism, right?
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day
-
Wearing a pink kitchen apron, Kevin walks in, holding a large cooked turkey on a platter. Across the table, his bird perches on the back of chair watching.
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- Kevin
- Happy Thanksgiving!
- Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin places the turkey down on the table. His bird leans over to inspect.
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- Bird
- Jerry?
- Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin’s bird looks up at him.
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- Bird
- I think I knew this guy.
- Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous
-
Kevin looks shocked.
-
- Kevin
- Oh gosh! I’m sorry!
- Bird
- Don’t be. He was a jerk. Let’s eat.
Your Precious Spare Time
Strip Info
- Title
- Your Precious Spare Time
- Date
- November 7, 2021
- Tags
- Bird, couch, fomo, gross, Kevin, mental health, movies, peer pressure, PG13, recreation, spare time
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day
-
Kevin slouches on the couch, watching TV, scowling. The bird sits on his head.
-
- Kevin
- Ugh. This movie is awful.
- Bird
- Then why are you watching it?
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin continues
-
- Kevin
- Because everyone’s talking about it and I don’t want to be left out of the conversation.
- Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
The bird looks quizzical.
-
- Bird
- Why are you letting peer pressure decide how you spend your precious spare time? Why not do what you want?
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin leaves the room, looking sheepish, pulling the door closed behind him.
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- Bird
- Oh gross!
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We see Kevin is holding a box of tissues in his hand.