The Worst Super Mario Game

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Video Game – Day

The title screen of a video game shows a 3D rendering of two plumbers standing next to their van. One, wearing a red shirt and hat with blue overalls folds his arms. The other, wearing a green shirt and hat with blue overalls, checks his phone while smoking a cigarette. The title reads “Super Realistic Mario Bros.” Under that reads “Press Start.” At the bottom of the screen, a tagline reads “© 2021 Nintendo.”

Panel 2 : Int. Video Game – Later

Panel 2: Another screenshot from the same game. Now in a kitchen, the red plumber lies with his head in a cabinet under a sink. His arm stretches out to the green plumber, who hunches over a toolbox. Dialogue from the red plumber at the bottom of the screen reads, “Hand me that wrench, would ya?” Under that, three options are presented: a) Pipe, b) Basin, and c) Crescent.

Panel 3 : Int. Video Game – Later

Another screenshot from the same game. Now in a basement, the red plumber hunches next to a water heater. Behind him, the green plumber stands next to a blonde woman. Dressed in pink, she folds her arms in distain. Dialogue from the red plumber at the bottom of the screen reads, “Sorry, Princess. But the part we need is on backorder…” Under that, two options are presented: a) Reschedule, and b) Charge x2.

Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Two kids sit on a couch, controllers in hand.

Kid 1

This game sucks.

Kid 2

Wait ’til we get to ‘Paperwork Island.’