Weird Things People Do Archives • Page 2 of 2 • Kevin Comics

The Procrastination Game

Strip Info

Title: The Procrastination Game
Date: May 8, 2022
Tags: Bird, couch, creativity, dumb things people do, Kevin, mental health, productivity, relatable, self care, videogames

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day

Kevin sits on his couch, controller in hand, playing a video game. His bird sits next to him.

Kevin: Ugh. This game sucks.
Bird: Then why not play a game you like?

Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin replies.

Kevin: Because if I play a game I like, I’ll get absorbed and won’t do the other things I have to do today.

Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continous

The bird ponders.

Bird: So why not do those other things first, then play a game you like?
Kevin: Because playing games is how I procrastinate.

Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continous

The bird looks concerned.

Bird: Wow, you’re all messed up, huh?
Kevin: My therapist calls me his “goldmine.”

Welcome to The Metaverse!

Strip Info

Title: Welcome to The Metaverse!
Date: March 27, 2022
Tags: dumb things people do, Facebook, Kevin, Metaverse, orc warrior, salmon shirts, social interactions, social media, technology

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. The Metaverse – Day

Kevin stands in a digital void next to a giant orc.

Orc: Welcome to The Metaverse! Here, you can be anyone you want!

Panel 2 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous

The orc continues.

Orc: Look at me! I’m an accountant irl. But here, I’m an orc warrior! No judgement!

Panel 3 : Int. Metaverse – Continuous

The orc continues.

Orc: Go ahead! Be who you’ve always wanted to be!

Kevin closes his eyes and starts to glow.

Panel 4 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous

Kevin’s shirt changes from black to light pink. “Plip!” He smiles.

Panel 5 : Int. The Metaverse – Continuous

The orc looks on, skeptically.

Orc: Yeeeah… Salmon’s not your color.

Kevin deflates.

The First Week of January

Strip Info

Title: The First Week of January
Date: January 9, 2022
Tags: creativity, holidays, judge, new years, productivity, running, starter pistol

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Race – Day

A runner perches on the starting line of a race. A nearby sign reads “2022 Start.” Behind the sign, a judge looks at their watch and holds a starting pistol in the air.

Runner: This year will be my year!

Panel 2 : Ext. Race – Continuous

The judge fires the pistol: “bang!” The runner takes off smiling.

Panel 3 : Ext. Race – Continuous

The runner trips on uneven ground.

Panel 4 : Ext. Race – Continuous

The runner faceplants on the hard ground. THWAP!

Panel 5 : Ext. Race – Continuous

The runner lies face down on the ground.

Panel 6 : Ext. Race – Continuous

Wider to reveal the runner only a few feet from the starting line.

Runner: Leave me here until next January.

Your Precious Spare Time

Strip Info

Title: Your Precious Spare Time
Date: November 7, 2021
Tags: Bird, couch, fomo, gross, Kevin, mental health, movies, peer pressure, PG13, recreation, spare time

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Day

Kevin slouches on the couch, watching TV, scowling. The bird sits on his head.

Kevin: Ugh. This movie is awful.
Bird: Then why are you watching it?

Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin continues

Kevin: Because everyone’s talking about it and I don’t want to be left out of the conversation.

Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

The bird looks quizzical.

Bird: Why are you letting peer pressure decide how you spend your precious spare time? Why not do what you want?

Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin leaves the room, looking sheepish, pulling the door closed behind him.

Bird: Oh gross!

We see Kevin is holding a box of tissues in his hand.

After You

Strip Info

Title: After You
Date: September 12, 2021
Tags: Bird, couch, food, Kevin, weird, white people, worms

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Home – Day

Kevin sits on his couch. His bird perched on his hand.

Kevin: Have you ever eaten a worm?
Bird: No. I’m an indoor bird.

Panel 2 : Int. Home – Continuous

The bird hops to Kevin’s shoulder.

Bird: Have you?
Kevin: Nope.

Panel 3 : Int. Home – Continuous

Kevin continues.

Kevin: D-do you want to?
Bird: Do you?

Panel 4 : Int. Home – Continuous

Kevin shrugs.

Kevin: I mean…
Bird: …Cuz it sounds like you do.

Panel 4 : Int. Home – Moments Later

Kevin and the bird face off on opposite sides of a plate with an earthworm on it. Kevin raises his eyebrows.

Bird (skeptical): O.K. What’s… what’s going on here?

The Glitter Trap

Strip Info

Title: The Glitter Trap
Date: June 13, 2021
Tags: alley, cheating, couples, COVID, Dani, floozie, glitter, hussy, infidelity, Kevin, pandemic, trashcan
Notes: Based on an actual conversation between my partner and I

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Evening

Dani confronts Kevin on their couch, sticking a finger in his face.

Dani: You’ve got giltter on your face. You cheating on me?
Kevin: No.

Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Dani holds up a finger with evidence.

Dani: Then where did it come from?
Kevin: I dunno. My new lotion?

Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continuous

Kevin defends himself.

Kevin: Besides, the only time I’ve left this house in the past year has beenn to take out the trash. When could I possibly cheat on you?

Panel 4 : Ext. Back Alley – Night

Kevin rendevous with some bimbo in a leopard print mini dress while taking out the trash.

Kevin (to bimbo): She’s on to us.

Bruce Wayne’s Dilemma

Strip Info

Title: Bruce Wayne’s Dilemma
Date: June 6, 2021
Tags: Alfred, Batman, Bruce Wayne, masculinity, mental health, Ra's Al Ghul, superheroes, therapy, toxic masculinity, vigilantes

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Wayne Manor Study – Evening

A young Bruce Wayne looks shell-shocked. Alfred comforts him.

Alfred: Master Bruce, you’ve been through a terrible trauma…

Panel 2 : Int. Wayne Manor Study – Continuous

Alfred introduces Bruce to a friendly-looking therapist.

Alfred: …You can either talk to this nice man about your feelings…

Panel 3 : Int. Wayne Manor Study – Continuous

Alfred introduces Bruce to Ra’s al Ghul.

Alfred: …Or you can train with this scary man to beat up strangers and dress as a giant bat.

Panel 4 : Int. Wayne Manor Study – Continuous

Bruce and Ra’s are gone, leaving Alfred and the therapist.

Alfred (to therapist): I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Bedtime Ritual

Strip Info

Title: Bedtime Ritual
Date: June 14, 2019
Tags: bed, bedtime, crime, Egg & Toast, pillow, ritual, smother

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Bedroom – Night

Egg & Toast are in bed, saying goodnight.

Egg: G’night.
Toast: ‘Night.

Panel 2 : Int. Bedroom – Continuous

Egg uses a pillow to play-smother Toast.

Egg: …Forever!

Panel 3 : Int. Bedroom – Continuous

Egg pauses for a moment.

Egg: Are you dead?
Toast (under the pillow): Yes.

Panel 4 : Int. Bedroom – Continuous

Egg releases the pillow. Toast isn’t actually dead. Egg kisses Toast. Toast smiles.

Egg: OK G’night.
Toast: ‘Night.

How To Greet A Stranger’s Dog

Strip Info

Title: How To Greet A Stranger’s Dog
Date: May 7, 2019
Tags: crime, dogs, Sarah, social interactions, stealing

Transcript

Panel 1 : Ext. Sidewalk – Day

Walking down the street, Sarah stops a Woman walking her French bulldog.

Sarah: Can I say Hi to your dog?
Woman: OK!

Panel 2 : Ext. Sidewalk – Continous

Sarah bends down to pet the dog.

Sarah: Can I pet him?
Woman: Sure!

Panel 3 : Int. Sidewalk – Continuous

Sarah picks the dog up. The Woman raises a finger in objection.

Sarah: Can I pick him up?
Woman: Um…

Panel 4 : Int. Sidewalk – Continuous

Sarah stuff the dog in her sweatshirt and runs away, leash still attached.

Sarah: Can I stuff him in my sweatshirt and take him home?
Woman (OS): STOP!

Comfort Shows

Strip Info

Title: Comfort Shows
Date: April 25, 2019
Tags: bed, comfort shows, Ellie Kempner, Netflix, Sarah, talking laptops, The Office, TV, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Notes

Transcript

Panel 1 : Int. Bedroom – Night

Sarah lies in bed, wrapped in a comforter, watching Netflix on her Laptop.

Laptop: Hi! What would you like to watch today?
Sarah: Reruns of The Office, please.

Panel 2 : Int. Bedroom – Continous

Laptop seems nonplussed.

Laptop: -Sigh- Again? But I made all this original content for you.

Panel 3 : Int. Bedroom – Continuous

Laptop makes an offer.

Laptop: …How about The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt?
Sarah: Reruns of The Office, please.

Panel 4 : Int. Bedroom – Continuous

Laptop presses further.

Laptop: …But Ellie Kemp-
Sarah (interrupting): -Shhh- You’re wasting both of our time.

Comics in Category : Weird Things People Do

The Procrastination Game

Strip Info

Transcript

Welcome to The Metaverse!

Strip Info

Transcript

The First Week of January

Strip Info

Transcript

Your Precious Spare Time

Strip Info

Transcript

After You

Strip Info

Transcript

The Glitter Trap

Strip Info

Transcript

Bruce Wayne’s Dilemma

Strip Info

Transcript

Bedtime Ritual

Strip Info

Transcript

How To Greet A Stranger’s Dog

Strip Info

Transcript

Comfort Shows

Strip Info

Transcript