Comics in Category : Dumb Things People Do
Stop Asking
Bonus Panel
Strip Info
- Title
- Stop Asking
- Date
- August 13, 2023
- Tags
- awkward, beer, bonus panel, creativity, cups, dumb things people do, frat guy, Kevin, party, social interactions
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Party – Day
-
At a party, a drunk frat guy walks up to Kevin.
-
- Frat Guy
- Hey! Cartoon Boy! Put me in one of your comics!
- Kevin
- Sorry, but no…
- Panel 2 : Int. Party – Continuous
-
The frat guy presses.
-
- Frat Guy
- C’mon! I bet I’m funnier than your dumb characters.
- Kevin
- Oh, I’m sure you are.
- Panel 3 : Int. Party – Continuous
-
Fed up, Kevin explains.
-
- Kevin
- Look, no offense, but stop asking cartoonists to be in their comics. It’s just not going to happen, okay?
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Zoom out to Kevin, sitting at his desk, drawing the comic we’ve just been reading. He lifts his pen from his monitor.
-
- Kevin (realizing)
- Wait. (beat) Shit.
Catching Up
Bonus Panel
Strip Info
- Title
- Catching Up
- Date
- July 30, 2023
- Tags
- beach, Bird, bonus panel, dumb things people do, Kevin, self care, social media, Twitter, vacation
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Apartment – Day
-
Kevin, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and carrying luggage, stands in the doorway of his house. His bird greets him with raised wings.
-
- Bird
- Hey hey! Welcome back from vacation!
- Kevin
- Thanks! What did I miss?
- Panel 2 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
Kevin’s bird ponders.
-
- Bird
- Let’s see… He renamed it “X”, but he doesn’t own the trademark. So there probably a bunch of lawsuits coming. Also: he limited the number of tweets you can read without paying.
- Panel 3 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
Kevin’s smile fades. His face ages as he listens to his bird go on.
-
- Bird
- Oh! And he started paying people to post, but you have to subscribe first – which kinda sounds like a pyramid scheme?
- Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
Kevin turns around and walks away, dragging his luggage with him. His bird calls after him.
-
- Bird
- …and did I mention he wants us to use it as a banking app? BECAUSE HE WANTS US TO USE IT AS A BANKING APP!
- Bonus Panel 1 : Ext. Beach – Later
-
Now at the beach at sunset, Kevin drags his luggage behind him as he walks into the ocean.
- Bonus Panel 2 : Ext. Beach – Later
-
Kevin is gone under the water. All that’s left are his footsteps and the drag marks of his luggage.
A Shorts Story
Bonus Panel
Strip Info
- Title
- A Shorts Story
- Date
- July 2, 2023
- Tags
- anxiety, awkward, BBQ, Bird, body positivity, bonus panel, Kevin, relatable, roast, shorts, social interactions, white people
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Apartment – Day
-
Kevin stands in his apartment, wearing teal shorts, revealing his skinny, pale legs. His bird, standing on a nearby table, leans over in interest.
-
- Bird
- What’s with the shorts? You never wear shorts
- Kevin
- I’m going to a BBQ and it’s too hot out for pants.
- Panel 2 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- Wow. You’re wearing them in public? But people will see your bare legs!
- Kevin
- I know. But I’m sure no one will notice.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Field – Later
-
Kevin is at the BBQ. Some jerk yells to the crowd.
-
- Some Jerk
- Hey everyone! The chicken legs we ordered are here!
- Panel 4 : Int. Apartment – Later
-
After the party, Kevin is back home.
-
- Bird
- Sooo… how’d it go?
- Kevin
- Never again.
-
Kevin sets his shorts on fire with a lighter.
The Future of Entertainment
Strip Info
- Title
- The Future of Entertainment
- Date
- June 18, 2023
- Tags
- AI art, artificial intelligence, capitalism, dumb things people do, gadgets, movies, pop culture, technology, TV, virtual reality
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. VR Headset – Day
-
From a user’s POV inside a VR headset, a cute robot character floats into view.
-
- Genie
- Hi! I’m Genie, your A.I.-powered entertainment bot! What do you want to watch today?
- User (O.S.)
- I wanna watch a movie where Spider-Man fights Batman at Wrestlemania!
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
The user sits in his recliner, a beer in his hand
-
- Genie (O.S.)
- Sorry. I’m afraid I can’t do that.
- User
- Why not? I thought A.I. can create whatever I want.
- Panel 3 : Int. VR Headset – Continuous
-
In the headset, Genie explains.
-
- Genie
- Well, see… Spider-Man is owned by Disney, Batman is owned by Warner Bros, and Wrestlemania is WWE. To combine them legally, I would need a licensing agreement between all three companies that allows for… (trailing off)
- Panel 4 : Ext. Street – Later
-
Later, on the side of the road, two sanitation workers empty trash cans into a garbage truck. One worker holds up something he fished out of a can.
-
- Sanitation Worker
- Hey look! Another pair a’them expensive goggles!
The Face of a Real Man
Strip Info
- Title
- The Face of a Real Man
- Date
- April 16, 2023
- Tags
- gross up, gruff fellow, Kevin, masculinity, moisturizer, self care, skincare, sunscreen, toxic masculinity
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Close on Kevin’s hands, shaking a bit of moisturizer from a pink bottle into his palm. A few feet away, a gruff-looking fellow puts up his hand in protest.
-
- Gruff-Looking Fellow
- Moisturizer? With sunscreen? -pfft- I don’t use any of that girlie stuff.
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
The gruff-looking fellow gets in Kevin’s face, pointing at his own. Kevin recoils.
-
- Gruff-Looking Fellow
- This here’s the face of a real man!
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Extreme close-up on the fellow’s scowling face. It’s burnt, cracked, pock-marked, and craggy. It’s… not pleasant.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Kevin winces.
-
- Kevin
- Real men have skin cancer?
- Gruff-Looking Fellow
- You mean my face rubble?
Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part IV
Strip Info
- Title
- Selling Stuff on Craigslist – Part IV
- Date
- March 19, 2023
- Tags
- awkward, capitalism, Craigslist, Craigslist Guy, dumb things people do, Kevin, lamp, social interactions, table
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Void – Day
-
Kevin sits at a little table. On the table sits a small lamp with a red shade and a sign that reads “Lamp: $5. Still works! Red shade. 18″ tall.” Craigslist Guy steps up to the table.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Hey. I’ll buy your lamp.
- Kevin
- Great! Can you take it today?
- Panel 2 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy answers.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Well, see… I’ll have to borrow my mom’s-“
- Kevin (interrupting)
- Oh no no! No need to tell me your life story…
- Panel 3 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Wider to reveal several people standing behind Craigslist Guy.
-
- Kevin
- Other folks are interested too. So just tell me if you can take it today.
- Panel 4 : Int. Void – Continuous
-
Craigslist Guy launches into a big block of backstory.
-
- Craigslist Guy
- Well, see… I’ll have to borrow my Mom’s car because I don’t want to carry it home on the bus because the bus driver is a jerk who wouldn’t let me bring my lunch on the bus because one time I spilled but it wasn’t even my fault because he went around a corner too fast so my soup spilled out of my thermos which I guess I should have closed tighter but hey…
-
Kevin deadpans to the camera.
The Side-Hustle Shuffle
Strip Info
- Title
- The Side-Hustle Shuffle
- Date
- February 26, 2023
- Tags
- couch, crafts, entrepreneur, grind, grustle, hobbies, hustle, Kevin, knitting, side hustle, The Grustle Monster
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Apartment – Day
-
Kevin sits on his couch, smiling, knitting a little scarf.
-
- Kevin
- What a relaxing new hobby I’ve found!
Behind him, The Grustle Monster rears up.
- Grustle Monster
- TURN IT INTO A SIDE HUSTLE!
- Panel 2 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
Shocked, Kevin turns around to address The Grustle Monster.
-
- Kevin
- C-can’t I just enjoy it?
- Grustle Monster
- NO! MAKE YOUR PASSION YOUR PASSIVE INCOME!
- Panel 3 : Int. Apartment – Continuous
-
Kevin begins to interject, but The Grustle Monster yells in his face.
-
- Kevin
- But-
- Grustle Monster
- MONETIZE YOUR FREE TIME!
- Panel 4 : Int. Craft Fair – Continuous
-
Kevin sits, cross-armed and scowling, behind a table at a craft fair. On the table, several of his knitted scarves are displayed. A sign above the table reads “Kevin’s Stupid Scarves. $20 or whatever.”
The Real MVP
Strip Info
- Title
- The Real MVP
- Date
- February 12, 2023
- Tags
- Bird, confetti, football, interview, Kevin, microphone, NFL, sports, sportscaster, Super Bowl, trophy, tupperware
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Football Stadium – Evening
-
Confetti rains down on a football field at the end of the Super Bowl. A sportscaster interviews Kevin on the field. Kevin wears a player’s uniform and holds the M.V.P. trophy.
-
- Kevin
(panting) - …Well, y’know, -pant- time was running out. I didn’t -pant- think I could hold on to it, but then I did…
- Kevin
- Panel 2 : Int. Football Stadium – Continuous
-
Kevin hoists the M.V.P. trophy above his head.
-
- Kevin
- …I just want to thank God, my team, and my parents for believing in me. Miracles can happen! Thank you!!
- Panel 3 : Int. TV Studio – Continuous
-
Cut to the studio, where two sportscasters chat.
-
- Sportscaster 1
- And there you have it: Kevin McShane named M.V.P. for remembering to bring home his tupperware from the Super Bowl potluck.
- Panel 4 : Int. Kevin’s Apartment – Continuous
-
Cut to real life. Kevin stands in his apartment, holding his tupperware up like the M.V.P. trophy. Behind him, his bird quips:
-
- Bird
- You’re sooo proud of yourself.
- Kevin
- I always forget!
The Bank Loan (Part 3)
Strip Info
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Bank Office – Day
-
The bank Branch Manager sits behind his desk opposite Kevin and his bird, looking over a handfull of papers.
-
- Branch Manager
- Sir, this business plan was clearly written by your pet bird, and we don’t give bank loans to birds.
- Panel 2 : Bank Office – Continuous
-
Dressed in a large, green bird outfit, Kevin scoffs. Dressed in a collar and tie, his bird perches next to him.
-
- Kevin
- That’s preposterious! Are you suggesting I’m not the one who came up with the idea for…
- Panel 3 : Int. Bank Office – Continuous
-
Kevin picks up one of the loan application papers in front of him and reads it briefly.
- Panel 4 : Bank Office – Continuous
-
Kevin returns to his hauty posture.
-
- Kevin
- …”Pluckr: The Dating App for Birds?”
- Panel 5 : Int. Car – Later
-
Kevin drives home from the bank. On his shoulder, his bird throws up his wings in disgust.
-
- Bird
- It’s a billion dollar idea!
- Kevin
- Obviously. They have no vision.
The Bank Loan (Part 2)
Strip Info
- Title
- The Bank Loan (Part 2)
- Date
- November 13, 2022
- Tags
- bank loan, bank manager, Bird, business, costume, dumb things people do, Kevin, office, scheme, The Box
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Car – Day
-
Kevin drives his car to the bank. On his arm sits his bird, dressed in a little collar and tie.
-
- Bird
- Listen, I need you to pretend to be me in this bank interview.
- Kevin
- What? Why?
- Panel 2 : Int. Car – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- Because banks don’t give business loans to birds.
- Kevin
- Well, not with that attitude.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Car – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- C’mon, be serious. Can you pretend to be me or not?
- Kevin
- Yeah yeah yeah. No problem.
- Panel 4 : Int. Bank Office – Later
-
Kevin sits in a chair opposite the branch manager, who looks over the loan application. Kevin is wearing a giant parrot costume, grinning like an idiot. On his shoulder, his bird facepalms.
Probably Just The Wind
Strip Info
- Title
- Probably Just The Wind
- Date
- October 9, 2022
- Tags
- baseball bat, bed, Bird, cage, Kevin, night, scary, scary sound, self defense
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Int. Living Room – Night
-
A sleepy Kevin lifts the cover on his bird’s cage.
-
- Kevin (whispering)
- Hey. Are you awake?
- Bird
- Well, I am now.
- Panel 2 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin continues.
-
- Kevin
- I heard a scary noise outside. Can you come sleep next to me?
- Bird
- No! You’re a grown man. Go to bed!
- Panel 3 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
A horrible sound: “-skritch- -skritch- BLEAGGGGH” comes from off-panel. Kevin and his bird freeze in fear.
- Panel 4 : Int. Living Room – Continuous
-
Kevin lies in bed, wide awake, clutching a baseball bat. On the pillow next to him lies his bird, facing the other direction.
-
- Bird
- Just don’t roll over and crush me.
All That Flapping
Strip Info
- Title
- All That Flapping
- Date
- August 14, 2022
- Tags
- Bird, dumb things people do, flying, Kevin, life or death situation, outside, rooftop
Transcript
- Panel 1 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Day
-
Close up on Kevin, wearing a bike helmet. His parrot sits on his shoulder.
-
- Kevin
- What’s flying like?
- Bird
- Honestly? Overrated.
- Panel 2 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Continuous
-
The bird continues.
-
- Bird
- Sure, it’s fun to soar above the trees. But it’s also exhausting. All that flapping.
- Panel 3 : Ext. Kevin’s House – Continuous
-
Wider to reveal Kevin is standing on the roof of his house, looking over the edge. A pillow lashed to his chest and a bedsheet fastened to his arms as makeshift wings.
-
- Kevin
- Huh. So should I rethink this?
- Char
- Nah. You’re gonna love it.
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